still shite

after the session i had last night at sneyd park on the hills i have officially given up hope of achieving any thing this year for the winter. i will just train and race and not expect any thing. went to the doctors this morning, nothing exciting to report there except gave 4 samples of blood and that was it. will get the results in a week or so. probably the worst time of year for it to happen to me with the christmas post etc, but thats just some thing that i'll have to deal with. i completed the session last night and whilst it was an improvement on the last time i ran at sneyd about a month ago the reps were still between 10 and 20 seconds down on my best times there. racing tomorrow at burnham-on-sea in a new monthly 5k that the local club have organised. i'm dreading what my time will be but i guess i will have to face the music at some point and just use that as some thing to build on rather than thinking about pb's, much as it pains me to say it. mind you though after the last race at weston i seriously considered chucking all my running gear in the sea and after the cross country on the downs i considered burning it. i am seriously worried that one day after a bad race my temper might get the better of me and it might end up costing me. the more and more i think about it the more i think other sports are the way forward.